DE Pizza Review: Miltonian Pizzeria & Wing House (Milton)
- DE Pizza
- Jan 18
- 4 min read
Rating:
Final Composite Score: 3.5 out of 8 slices ("rounded" up to 4 slices in the picture)
[Her: 4 out of 8 slices]
[Him: 3 out of 8 slices]
Read the full "dialogue review" below this excellent picture of so-so pizza.
Him:
This is our review of the Miltonian Pizzeria and Wing House in Milton, Delaware — a place that holds more memories than we expected to unpack over a couple of pizzas.
Her:
It really does. We first visited maybe fifteen years ago when we were staying in Milford — or one of the “Mill” towns — during a long Maryland power outage during a very hot July. It was around the time of our younger son’s birthday. He wanted pizza, so we went to the Miltonian Pizzeria. And it was perfect: cozy, family-friendly, the kind of night that leaves you with a warm memory.
Him:
I would say the memory aged beautifully. We even came back for our son's 24th birthday this past July. I remember having a great time — though, full disclosure, that might’ve been the beer talking. There was a lot of beer guzzled that night by everyone.
Her:
A generous beer-lubricated feeling might have enhanced our enjoyment of the pizza back then. Because tonight? Not quite the same. This one was disappointing. For me, the flavor profile reminded me of Pizza Hut — not necessarily bad, but definitely not good. I grew up eating Pizza Hut pizza. I'm done.
Maybe it’s because we ordered small pies, but the slices weren’t very satisfying. The sauce was fine — a little oregano and basil in there — but it needed something: salt, garlic, life. And the crust was bland. Not chewy, not bready, just . . . crackery.
Him:
Agreed. The sauce leaned tangy, but lacked depth. I like sweeter sauce because that's what I grew up with. The crust had that dry, crust-bowl Greek pizza quality — the kind that's a harder crust and doesn’t have the soft, foldable deliciousness of New York pizza. I like a bit of moisture and chew in the crust; this felt stiff.
Her:
That’s what reminded me of Pizza Hut — the high, crisp edge, like a bowl holding in the toppings.
Him:
To their credit, the pizza was well constructed. It didn’t fall apart.
Her:
Mine did! The mushroom and onion pizza lost its cheese mid-bite. The plain pie held up better, though.
Him:
True. I liked that the cheese on the cheese pizza developed a golden-brown crust on top — almost caramelized.
Her:
Yes, it had a nutty, buttery flavor. That part worked for me.
Him:
But overall, the pizza didn’t live up to my memories and it wasn't my ideal. I also have one pet peeve: when I order mushrooms and onions, I want them cooked. Raw mushrooms have no flavor unless they’re exceptional — which these weren’t.
Her:
They were at least fresh, not canned. I draw the line at canned mushrooms.
Him:
Fair point. You have been warned, Delmarva pizzerias. But the onions were raw too — sharp and uncaramelized — which didn’t help the pizza’s taste. It overwhelmed the taste of the pizza.
Her:
I’ll tolerate raw mushrooms, but raw onions don’t belong anywhere near pizza. They dominate everything.
Him:
Exactly. And I found myself adding grated cheese and even a little salt to both pizzas — a sure sign the pizza lacked flavor. Pizza should stand tall on its own. It should not need reinforcements.
Her:
Well, the crust stood tall…
Him:
(Laughs.) Yes, that it did. But not in the way we wanted.
Her:
Service-wise, the staff was capable, but I felt rushed. They asked if we wanted dessert halfway through our pizza. Maybe they were eager to close early for Halloween, but still — we were eating!
Him:
And it wasn’t even late. They didn’t need to hustle us out the door. Maybe they aren't used to people who eat almost all of two pizzas.
Her:
True. The food came out quickly, though, and they were efficient. Just not relaxed. And that's not relaxing.
Him:
They did their jobs, absolutely. But I need to address something else: Miltonian describes its pizza as “New York style.” As a New Yorker, I take that personally. This was not New York style. It wasn’t the not-a-pizza tomato bread bowl that some people call Chicago deep dish pizza, sure, but the crust, the sauce, the proportions — none of it would be acceptable in New York.
Her:
It’s worth mentioning they’re also a wing house — we skipped the wings tonight, and that might’ve been a mistake.
Him:
Could be. This is a pizza blog, not a wing blog, but maybe the wings are the better choice here.
Her:
With more beer, maybe the pizza would’ve gone down easier.
Him:
The beer is good, cold, and Dogfish Head. But if you need beer to talk yourself into the pizza, that’s not a great sign.
Her:
Still, I’d tell people to try the wings. They’ve always been good.
Him:
You’re trying to salvage the review and show everyone you are a nice person, but alright — let’s score it. Out of eight slices, what do you give the Miltonian Pizzeria & Wing House?
Her:
Three slices out of eight.
Him:
Wow, I thought you’d go higher!
Her:
Okay, yes, I am going to give them four slices.
Him:
I was going to say four, but you’ve talked me into a three.
Her:
[Expletive deleted] you! Damn it.
Him:
The pizza just wasn’t enjoyable. It didn’t feel like a celebration — and pizza should always feel like a celebration.
Her:
Was it the company?
Him:
It was not the company.
Her:
Not that lack of celebration stopped us from finishing almost everything.
Him:
We try not to let the taste or the experience get in the way of the volume of pizza we consume. Not eight out of eight slices from both pizzas, but close.
Her:
Close enough to count as "research."
Him:
Exactly. So we’re calling it: an average score of three and a half out of eight slices. A place we still have affection for, but maybe one that's better as a memory than a meal.
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